


Shapeshifting shenanigans

by This_Ginger_Can_Not_Read



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Light Angst, Shapeshifting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 21:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17353208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/This_Ginger_Can_Not_Read/pseuds/This_Ginger_Can_Not_Read
Summary: Roman struggles to shapeshift and has a hard time coming to terms that it isn't as simple as he thinks.





	Shapeshifting shenanigans

The way things were playing out, Roman was sure something was out to get him. There was no way that anyone in the world could have the kind of bad luck he was having. There was no way someone could have such terrible things happen.

Roman huffed as he tried for the third time to shapeshift. He thought that being in his own room would help him with creativity. He was the embodiment of creativity! That meant that being in his room would make it easier to shapeshift. Right? It was getting too frustrating and Roman threw his hands up, running them through his hair.

Patton and Logan had tried explaining it to him. It took patience and feelings, that he had to take a deep breath and let the thought flow through him. He needed to be calm and patient.

But Roman didn’t want to be patient. He wanted to be able to shapeshift like he’s supposed to. The others could do it! Even the emo nightmare could figure it out before he could!

It wouldn’t have hurt so bad if it wasn’t for the pitying looks he got from the others. Patton would sometimes try reassuring him with kind words, but it didn’t feel like he meant it. Logan wasn’t as kind about it. He'd often scold him for his impatience and disinterest in learning the correct way. But even Anxiety didn’t need the extra push.

Roman took a deep breath and sat on his bed, thinking deep on becoming one of Thomas’ closest friends. He could feel the flow in him but it wasn’t happening immediately. He couldn’t help but feel so disappointed in himself. Logan could do it at the drop of a hat. Yet here Roman was, struggling with something that the others seemed to do without any effort.

With a huff, Roman stood and stretched. He’d given it four attempts today. It wasn’t happening today. Frustrated tears filled his eyes. He pressed his palms to his eyes in an attempt to hold some semblance of dignity. He felt his chest tighten and he tried, with little success, to keep himself from sobbing.

A knock at his door pulled him from his self-deprecating stupor. He wiped at his eyes in an attempt to look like himself, but he knew his eyes would still look a little puffy.

“Hey kiddo, just checking on ya! You haven’t been down in a while. I hope you’re feeling okay.” Of course it was Patton. He would always check on the others, making sure they were eating or getting some kind of support. Patton was always so kind. But Roman didn’t want Patton with him. He couldn’t take the pitying glances again.

“I’m okay Patton! Have no fear.” He’d hoped it would work, but his voice cracked a bit and he felt a tear fall down his cheek. “Fudge.” He mumbled, wiping his cheeks. Roman waited for the sound of Patton walking away, but instead he got silence.

There was a long moment of silence, where neither of them made any noise. Roman tried to keep in the shuddering breaths and bit his lip to keep from crying out loud. But he didn’t think it mattered to Patton. Patton always knew when something was wrong.

“Kiddo?” Roman took a deep breath and held it, hoping Patton would get the hint. But this was Patton. “Ro, come on. Open the door.” Patton persisted, getting a small huff from Roman. Roman walked to the door, hoping Patton would walk away. He did that sometimes when Anxiety didn’t want people around.

“Roman, is this about the shapeshifting?” Roman stopped in front of the door, eyes squeezed shut and hand on the doorknob. “No, Pat. It’s just,” He took a deep breath and steeled himself, opening up the door. “It’s nothing. I’m sorry to have worried you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an adventure to go on today.” He tried going around Patton, but Patton stopped him by grabbing his shoulders. “Sit down on the bed, Roman. We need to have a talk.”

Roman sat on the bed, the red sheets feeling soft under his fingers. He rubbed his hands over them in hopes he’d feel a little better for this talk. “Ro,” Patton started, getting Roman’s attention. “You know that we all love you.” Roman nodded, staring down at his hands. Of course, Roman knew Patton and Logan loved him. They told him often enough. Well, Patton did. Logan did things that made Roman know.

“And you know that we can shapeshift.” Roman felt his lips curl in a frown. Of course. They could. Roman couldn’t shapeshift to save his life. “But,” They way Patton said it made Roman look up at him in confusion. “You don’t know how we learned.”

“Roman, you’re not the only one of us who struggled with shapeshifting.” Patton pressed his hands together and tightened his jaw. “We all dealt with it.” Roman looked at Patton with both curiosity and sympathy. Patton had said before that it took a while but he didn’t know that they’d struggled like him.

“You know, Logan struggled with it the hardest.” Roman’s eyebrows shot up and he sat up straight. “What? No way!” Logan was a pro at shapeshifting, and there wasn’t anything that the brainiac couldn’t do! “Yeah kiddo. He struggled for a while, too. It took a lot of feelings to shapeshift and he couldn’t understand it. He struggled for months on end trying to figure it out. To the point that we’d find him passed out in various parts of the house. He’d tire himself out, trying to feel and understand. It hurt him for a long time.

“Anxiety had trouble with it, too. Which was understandable. He feared of the impact on Thomas. He thought if he was something other than himself, he’d never be able to protect Thomas. He feared he might figure out how to turn into something but not how to turn back. It took a lot of convincing on our part to help him through it.

“Then there was me.” Patton took a moment, picking his nails. Roman watched the way he smiled for a minute. It fell but then came back full force when he turned to Roman. “I had trouble with concentrating. I couldn’t focus enough on it to get it down. I had the emotions for it. I had the understanding of what I needed to do. I knew how it worked,” He paused and looked up at the ceiling. “But I couldn’t do it.” Roman nodded his head, looking down at the floor. He knew that all too well.

“Roman, we love you regardless of your ability to shapeshift. But I know that deep down you know how to do this. And you’re trying.” Patton pulls Roman in for a hug, holding him close to his chest. “I believe in you, Roman. I know what you’re capable of.”

It took Roman another week to try again. He sat down on the floor in the living room and took a deep breath, imagining what he wanted to turn into. He steadied himself, breathing out of his nose. He concentrated on what he wanted, keeping it in his mind. It didn’t happen immediately and Roman felt his eyebrow twitch in anger. He took another calming breath, trying to keep himself centered. It took only a few moments longer before he felt the change.

He ran to a mirror, feet hitting the floor loudly before he stood in front of the bathroom mirror. He was grinning , unable to help it as he jumped up and cried out with joy. He couldn’t help but beam at the image of the cuddly bear in front of him. He’d finally done it! He finally managed to shapeshift!

Patton came over to see what the ruckus was about. He almost screamed until he saw the red sash over the bear’s shoulders. “Oh my gosh, Roman, you scared me!” Patton said, clutching his chest. Roman turned to him and pulled him close with large paws. Patton buried his face in the fur and smiled. “But good job.”

It was only seconds later that Patton was hugging the real Roman. Logan walked by, staring in confusion and continuing on in his path to the kitchen. But Roman was happy.

**Author's Note:**

> This was someone else's idea who let me write this for them! What a wonderful idea!


End file.
